They say that comparison destroys you. But I never truly understood this theory until the poison of comparison started to infect my mind in my early teenage years.
What are they wearing? Okay, I’ve gotta go and buy that too.
Why can’t I be as good as them? I’m going to work hard so I can be better.
What places are they visiting? Yup, okay I’m travelling there too.
What kind of friends do they have? Alright, I’ll start making friends like them too.
I was so full with the junk of other people’s lives, that I was completely blinded to the emptiness of my own. Most of us have been there.
Imagine yourself driving on a four laned highway. What would happen to your car if you were only focused on the cars in the lanes around you? You would crash.
Well, a couple of years ago I found myself in a similar place -except the crash happened inside my head. I thought I was fighting to keep up with the others around me, but I was actually fighting myself. I realised that I wasn’t even myself anymore. I had become desensitized to who Tyla Howard was. It was a wake-up call, and I became determined to find out who I really was. Some of the people who are reading this may feel that way now - empty and desensitised.
Here are 7 ways that helped me kill my comparison problem, and helped me to find myself again:
I began to get closer to Jesus (He’s a life saver… literally!)
I stopped focusing on the progress of others, and focused on my own progress instead.
I began to dive deeper into the hobbies that I enjoyed (side note: the things that you love doing are NOT coincidences, they make up who you are. Embrace them!!). I focused and developed the things I was good at, instead of the things I fell short in.
I spontaneously visited different places.
I tried to step out of my comfort zone to meet some amazing, new people.
I had some great people by my side along the way.
I focused on my internal (and eternal) state, rather than my external state.
I began introducing myself to myself all over again. It was so SO worth it. I became free.
HOWEVER, comparison is sneaky. It will always try and creep in, but it’s our job to deal with it before a crash happens. It's important to continually check-in with ourselves, to make sure we aren't tricked into the comparison game.
Kill comparison before it kills you.
Founder of She the Roar
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